Batmans Vs The Tinman
After the unprecedented success of 'Aliens vs Chiropractor', not least by John Hurt's Oscar nomination as "Alien on bus #2", studios Hollywood-wide jumped on the chance to make another box office smash. And so comes 'Batmans vs The Tinman'. And they were wrong.
The premise is that the Tinman was promised a heart by Batman so he could love Daisy, a leggy chick he met at happy hour. However, Batman, too busy cloning himself so he could spend more time catching up with his Tivo programming, completely forgot spaced on codeine, and the Tinman eventually lost Daisy to a man from Streatham named Swampthing.
This, the final straw for the unfortunate Tinman who is so upset by the injustice done to him, he greases up his axe and follows the yellow carpet leading right to the front door of his house. Thus starts his quest to find Batman and chop chop chop him up, a lot!
However, Batman has become Batmen (or 'Batmans'). About 55 in fact. Roaming about the new tourist trap (easyjet you see) that is Gotham city. They can be found queuing in Starbucks trying to blag a superhero discount, in Woolworths buying mega-packs of AA batteries, or being bullied by schoolchildren behind sheds.
The use of a man in a tin suit as opposed to a CGI version was a nice if suspiciously cheapskate touch. I like the fact that the Batmans were also in original Adam West tight leotards. A sincere, loveable homage to the originals, which are otherwise shamed by the remainder of the movie.
The rest of the film is straight forward. The Tinman has to fight wave after wave of Batmen in order to get to the original Bruce Wayne. The PG-13 rating reduces the gore to an infuriating minimum. How you cannot show some blood as the Tinman disembowels an enemy is beyond me. The direction from new boy, Angus Deayton is frenetic stylised nonsense. The camera movements are so disorientating one does not know where one is. I found myself in the women's toilet during one particularly action packed scene. The Tinman's axe is his only weapon and becomes tiresome, as does his constant re-oiling at Texaco. And at 5 hours the film is a little long.
The climax between Tinman and Batman is strangely low key. Afternoon tea discussing the pros and cons of superherodom. The fact that the Tinnman isnt a superhero and possesses no extraordinary powers is overlooked in the film. There is a moral to conclude that superheros' must sacrifice in order to do their jobs, and there is no happy ending for the tinman. Merely understanding, enlightenment and inner peace.
The film is out in 5 weeks and is rubbish.